I Found My Heart in San Francisco

Book 1: Awakenings

By: S X Meagher

Disclaimers: See Chapter 1

Feedback: I'm consumed by self-criticism; therefore only positive feedback will be read. If you enjoyed the story please stroke my fragile ego, if not, flush it from your memory bank and move on. You can email me at sx_meagher@mindspring.com

Chapter 12

Morris & Foster traditionally held a very large, very elegant New Year's Eve party for partners and their spouses. Jamie had never been invited and she had never regretted the oversight. But this year her father had broached the subject just after Thanksgiving. After the disagreement they had she was more amenable to doing small things to please him but she was very leery of attending this party. She rather doubted that Jack would want to go since he seemed almost agoraphobic lately but she decided to ask him anyway just so she could tell her father that she had brought it up.

She was as surprised as she had ever been when Jack's reaction turned out to be not only favorable, but downright enthusiastic. "I think that would be a lot of fun," he said with more enthusiasm than she had heard all year. "It'll give us a chance to get dressed up for a change. I would love to be able to dance with you when you're all sexy looking," he said winsomely. Dance, she thought with surprise. He dances?

As the day approached Jamie spent a fairly enjoyable afternoon with her mother shopping for new dresses. Catherine probably had enough formalwear to clothe a small fashion deprived country but she hated to wear the same dress twice so she needed something too. At her current weight Jamie could have easily worn one of her mother's dresses but Catherine would not hear of it. "My things are far too mature for you, Dear. You need something that fits your age and your style." And so they descended on the small shops of the South Bay.

The recent glut of Internet and software millionaires in the Silicon Valley created a new market for formalwear and Jamie was surprised at how many little shops now dotted the tree lined streets of the small towns from Hillsborough down through San Jose. Luckily since many of the nouveau millionaires were in their 20's and 30's the dresses were much more to Jamie's taste. She finally decided on a nice little navy blue velvet dress that Catherine wholeheartedly approved of.

On the day of the party she waited until she was alone in the house to page Ryan. She had just seen Ryan the day before but she hadn't remembered to even ask her about her plans for the night. She assumed she would be with Tracy but she still felt the need to wish her a Happy New Year.

Minutes later her phone rang. "You rang?" Ryan's cheerful voice asked.

"I forgot to wish you a Happy New Year," she said. "I couldn't let that oversight ruin my evening."

"Your evening? Ha! What about my evening? I would have been the one without your good wishes. You could have ruined a whole year for me, Jamie," she teased. "I hope you're more careful in the future!"

"Maybe I should just call you every day and give you my good wishes."

"Now that's the best idea you've had in weeks," Ryan said happily. "I'll expect your call from here on in. So what are you up to tonight?"

"We're going to a big formal party at The Fairmont Hotel," she said with much less enthusiasm than Ryan thought normal.

"Well that sounds pretty cool. Do you have a new dress?" she asked, knowing Jamie's penchant for shopping.

"Yep. Navy blue velvet. I look pretty good in it if I do say so myself," she said with a light chuckle.

"I've known you since August and I've yet to see you look anything but fabulous," Ryan said. "But I would bet navy blue velvet is just perfect for you given your hair color and skin tone. Jack will be the envy of every guy there."

"So what are you two up to?" Jamie asked, momentarily nonplussed that Ryan had obviously spent some time assessing her physical attributes.

"We're going to a big party at The Mark Hopkins," Ryan said.

"Really? That surprises me a bit. I thought you didn't like large gatherings."

"I don't. But you have to make some sacrifices for a relationship," she said wisely.

Tell that to Jack, she thought, but decided to keep her gripes to herself. "Is this for girls only?"

"Yep. It's put on by one of the promoters who puts on big weekend parties in the City. I told Tracy I'd take her anywhere she wanted to go and this is what she chose."

"Do you have a new dress?" Jamie taunted.

"I have my version of a new dress," she conceded with a little laugh.

"And what might that be? Did you find formal jeans?"

"No, but that does sound appealing. Maybe I should have spent more than 10 minutes shopping."

"Come on, tell me what you bought. I'm not familiar with formal lesbian attire."

"Well the dress code is pretty darn flexible. I guarantee the diversity of my group will surpass yours," she teased.

"Spill it, O'Flaherty."

"Okay, I bought some black leather pants and a white pleated shirt...kind of a woman's tuxedo shirt. It's got little bitty black studs rather than buttons." She paused for a moment and said, "Jamie, are you still there?"

Jamie physically slapped her head to make her brain start to work again. "My cell phone must have blanked out for a second," she said hurriedly. "Your outfit sounds cute. I'd like to see it someday." Yeah, like tomorrow, she thought dejectedly. I'd rather tag along on Ryan's date than hang out with a bunch of lawyers. And I sure can't imagine a person who would look better in leather pants.

"I hope you have a very good time tonight, Jamie. I send you every good wish for the New Year. But you'll have to wait for your kiss," she promised.

"Happy New Year, Ryan. I hope you and Tracy have a wonderful evening. Make sure you pay attention so you can tell me all about the unique outfits."

"Will do, Buddy. I'll call you tomorrow."

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Dinner was scheduled for 8 o'clock and Jack showed up right on time at 7. Jim and Catherine had arranged for the firm's limo to pick them up and Jamie decided that it made sense to all ride together.

Jamie came down the stairs to the appreciative gazes of both her father and Jack. "Wow," was all that Jack could get out.

"You look wonderful, Honey," Jim gushed as he walked to the stairs to kiss her cheek.

"Thank you both," she said as she waited for Jack's kiss. "You look pretty wonderful yourself," she said softly as he leaned in for a kiss. He had purchased a tuxedo for himself, figuring that he would need one once he started his full time job. He asked his law review partner to help him pick it out and Jamie had to admit that Natalie's taste was exquisite. The suit was quite traditional but it had a shawl collar which set his broad shoulders off quite attractively. It was impeccably tailored and Jamie knew that it had cost more than he could comfortably afford but she had to admit that it looked fabulous on him. His wing collar white shirt and black tie completed the traditional look but he looked anything but stodgy. She thought that he had never looked more handsome and she began to feel a little better about attending the party. If he cares enough to dress this carefully he must really want to attend, she thought. Maybe he really does want to cut loose for a change.

Catherine made her entrance a short time later and gracefully accepted the compliments of the small crowd. She also looked particularly lovely this evening. A deep emerald green silk cocktail dress showed off both her figure and her pale blonde hair to good advantage.

"Shall we?" Jim asked as he took Catherine's arm to lead her to the waiting limo.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

The evening started off well enough. Dinner was the standard hotel banquet room fare: nothing special except the prices. They sat at a table with the other senior members of the firm but the ambient noise forced them to speak mostly to each other. But as soon as dinner was finished Jim invited Jack to join him and the other senior partners down in the bar to have a cigar. Jamie watched in horror as Jack immediately agreed. He doesn't smoke! she thought in alarm. That is such a disgusting habit! And he'll reek of the smell all night long, she groused to herself.

She was in quite a little funk when Catherine leaned over and said, "You may as well get used to it, Honey. These events are not made for us. It's just an extension of the office. Our job is to look good and not get drunk enough to cause a scene," she laughed wryly at her own joke but Jamie caught the bitter edge to her voice. "I'm having vodka tonight. How about you?"

"I think I'll stick with Champagne," she said since she had already had a glass.

Catherine called the waiter over and signaled for him to come closer, "I'd like an Absolut on the rocks and a bottle of decent Champagne."

"We're serving Mumm's tonight, Ma'am," he informed her politely.

"I know what you're serving but that's not what we're drinking," she said sweetly. "I'd like a bottle of Crystal. I can sign for it separately," she decreed.

"Yes ma'am," he said as he snapped to it. A few minutes later Jamie was sipping the excellent Champagne while various wives and fellow partners paid homage to her mother.

When they were alone for a moment Jamie asked, "Do you really know all of these people?"

"I know quite a few of them. We've been friends with some of these people since we were your age," she laughed. "But many of them are complete strangers. I have no idea why they insist on talking to me. It's not like you father quizzes me at the end of the evening, 'So Catherine, did all of the partners and their wives kiss your ring?' "

Jamie laughed at her mother's usually hidden sense of humor. She's kind of fun when Daddy's not around, she thought to herself.

After a while a well dressed woman who looked a little older than Catherine came up and asked, "Could I have a word with you in private, dear?"

Catherine looked like she wanted to refuse but she got up and followed the woman to the side of the room. It was almost 10 when the men returned. They reeked of cigar smoke and Jamie felt a little nauseous when Jack sat next to her and spoke in her direction. But she had no interest in making a big deal about it so she tried to ignore the strong odor. After a few minutes he asked her to dance and she accepted mostly to see if he really knew how. They had never been in a situation that required them to dance and she hoped that he had some idea of what to do since she didn't think it would be wise to lead.

Her mouth nearly hit her chest as he gracefully placed one hand behind her back and grasped her other hand in his. As the music started he led her around the floor as though he had been dancing for years. He seemed so self-assured and elegant that she had to question her long held perceptions of him. They didn't speak as they danced but that didn't bother her one bit. She just let him lead her with his calm but determined manner.

They remained on the dance for a several more songs and when they returned to their table he looked at her with his normal boyish face and whispered, "How'd I do?"

She sat back in her chair to regard him for a moment. He looked like nothing but a young boy seeking approval from his teacher for a well written essay. "You dance beautifully Jack," she said sincerely. "I had no idea that you knew how."

"I didn't," he said rather proudly.

"But how...?"

"When you invited me I knew I couldn't stumble around looking stupid so I signed up for lessons," he said with a big boyish grin.

"You...you took dance lessons?

"Yeah. It's important to look like you belong, Jamie," he explained patiently.

"I think I get that," she said, trying to hold the edge from her voice. "But when did you have time to take lessons?"

"Natalie and I took a course together. She didn't know how either so it seemed like a good way to learn," he explained happily.

"You took dance lessons?" she asked for the second time; still unable to get her mind around the concept.

"Yes, Jamie, this evening is important to me," he said as he gave her a little squeeze.

She had never considered herself slow. As a matter of fact she usually thought that she caught on rather quickly. That's why this revelation hit her with such force. How stupid am I? I honestly believed he wanted to come to this party to be with me! She silently berated herself for a few minutes and shortly thereafter her father whisked Jack away for 'face time' with some of the other important people at the party.

She had to force herself to adopt a pleasant countenance after Jack departed. When she really thought about it she had to admit that she had rarely felt so alone. The walls of the huge banquet room seemed to be closing in on her and she fervently wished she was at home watching 'Dick Clark's New Years Rockin' Eve', never one of her favorite shows, but supremely more enjoyable than this debacle. Turning to her mother, she caught a look of unguarded despair on the older woman's normally placid face. The look was so heart rending that she quickly averted her gaze to avoid making her uncomfortable. "You'll never survive a lifetime of these events if you don't learn how to drink, Jamie," her mother's voice floated past her ear a few minutes later. "You've barely had a full glass."

Just then the waiter ambled past. Jamie looked up at him and asked in a clear voice, "Morphine and soda please."

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Ryan was dressed and ready to roll at 9 o'clock. Martin had insisted that she take his truck for the evening since he would be at work and would have no need for it. "It's not wise to be gallivanting around on New Year's Eve on a motorcycle," he decreed. Rather than risk worrying him Ryan had dropped him off at work in the afternoon.

She actually felt pretty good in her new outfit. She had taken the time to polish her boots and she gazed at her bleary reflection in the black leather while she waited for Tracy to buzz her up.

As the door to the apartment opened Tracy pulled her in and spent a moment looking her up and down. Ryan patiently waited for her to finish and was rewarded with a low whistle. "You look so totally hot," she purred as she pulled Ryan in for her first kiss of the night.

When she broke free Ryan stood back and regarded her date. Tracy looked more beautiful than Ryan had ever seen her and that was saying a lot. She wore a heavyweight silk white tank top and a very short, very tight black velvet skirt. Shimmery black stockings showed off every inch of her long legs and her two inch heels brought her up much closer to Ryan's hungry mouth. Her shoulder length chestnut hair was swept up off her face in a tight chignon and the attractive style highlighted the delicate planes of her lovely face. "You look so beautiful," Ryan murmured softly as they came together in another series of passionate kisses. Ryan wasn't sure if it was Tracy's luminous beauty or her mesmerizing perfume but something was ratcheting her desire out of control. She knew that if they did not leave soon they would see the New Year in from a horizontal position. "We'd better go," she said softly as she finally pulled her mouth from Tracy's voracious one.

"Maybe we should just watch the countdown on TV," she suggested. "It's very dangerous to be out on New Years you know."

"It's more dangerous in here," Ryan decided. "Let's go, Babe," she said as she held out a matching collarless black velvet jacket for Tracy to slip into.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

By the time Jack returned to ask for another dance Jamie could hardly feel her feet. But she was not in the mood for a lecture so she sucked it up and gamely followed him out to the dance floor. She was a bit surprised to see her mother being led out seconds later and she thought, Now being displayed for your viewing pleasure, Catherine and Jamie Evans. They walk, they talk, they dance!

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Ryan had been to many lesbian dances and parties but this was by far the most elegant event that she had ever attended. The room was decorated beautifully and the music was not ear-splittingly loud. People were drinking but it was nearly 10 o'clock and she did not detect any obviously drunk women yet.

Almost as soon as they entered the room Tracy led her to the dance floor and they spent a good half hour moving against each other so sensually that Ryan knew her resolve didn't have much of a chance at holding out tonight.

When Tracy first agreed to go out with Ryan it was with the caveat that she did not want to be a short term fling. Ryan agreed immediately since she was finally in the market for a steady girl friend. But Ryan made a promise to Tracy at the very beginning. She pledged that she would not try to sleep with her until she was sure of her feelings. Tracy had readily agreed but Ryan was getting the message that her friend was changing the rules on her.

At first she wasn't sure if she was reading her signals correctly but the sultry glances were a good first clue. But even if she had not noticed the glances the torrid kisses would have been another indication. But no matter how oblivious Ryan was she could not ignore the bare thigh that kept sliding between her legs on the dance floor. Tracy had the most arousing dance style that Ryan had ever seen. She danced so close that their breasts continually rubbed against one another but the kicker for Ryan was the way Tracy insinuated her leg right between Ryan's and thrust her hips in time to the music. After a few such numbers Ryan's head was throbbing from her unquenched desire and her will was way past weak.

They were both thirsty from the workout so Tracy led her by the hand to one of the small bars set up around the large ballroom. Ryan knew the last thing she needed was alcohol so she stuck to her usual sparkling water. But Tracy seemed to wish to lower her inhibitions as she ordered a Scotch and soda. Ryan watched her slug her drink down in a very rapid style as she turned and gazed at her like a panther stalking prey. The wild look in Tracy's eyes caused Ryan to move back a few steps, but that was right where she wanted her. She pushed Ryan against the rear wall and began to work on her mouth again. By the time Ryan came up for breath she was all in favor of seeing if she could snag another good deal on a room upstairs.

But just when she was about to suggest that they head home Tracy pulled her back onto the dance floor and began to sway to the music once again. "Give me strength," Ryan moaned to whatever saint was in the neighborhood.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

At 11:50 Jamie tried to focus on the blurred vision of her mother. "Will they come back at midnight or do we kiss each other?"

"Oh they'll be back," Catherine replied knowingly. "It wouldn't look right to leave us alone then."

Even from her fog Jamie could tell that her mother really didn't look very drunk at all. How in the hell does she do that? she marveled. She's had as many as I've had and she's drinking vodka. That's 3 times as much alcohol as champagne. But as she regarded her for a moment she really let herself see the vacant, almost desolate look in her mother's eyes. Why is she so unhappy? she wondered. Is it her life or her self or is it just physiological?

Jack and Jim flew up with 3 minutes to spare. "Miss me?" he whispered into Jamie's ear as he pulled her to the dance floor to join with all the other couples as they welcomed in the New Year.

"Desperately," she replied in the same flat monotone her mother used with her father.

"Good," he said happily as he wrapped her in his arms and kissed her with enough intensity to shock her out of her fog.

Oh right, she said to herself as she caught her breath. He has to look like he's passionate.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

The stroke of 12 found Tracy looking up into Ryan's deep blue eyes and murmuring in a soft voice, "I love you, Ryan," as she pulled her head down for a tender, emotion filled kiss.

Ryan was a bit shocked by this declaration but she realized that she was very close to declaring her love for Tracy too. But since her mouth was very happily occupied she decided to wait a bit to commit herself.

When she considered her feelings she had to admit that Tracy was exactly what she had been seeking in a woman. She was a lot of fun, smart, sexy, very passionate, and probably great in bed. As Ryan's mouth was invaded by Tracy's searching tongue she rethought that statement. No, she's definitely gonna be great in bed, she thought with a knowing smile.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

By 12:30 the Morris & Foster party was winding down. The younger partners and their spouses were still on the dance floor but the more senior members of the firm were starting to drift off. Jim approached and asked, "A few of the managing committee members want to have a nightcap over a the Top of the Mark. Will you two join us or would you rather stay here and dance?"

Jamie knew the answer before the question was fully out of her father's mouth. "We'd love to join you," Jack answered without even looking at her.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

As they waited for the elevator to the top floor of the Mark Hopkins Jamie turned to scan the sign that listed the location of every event. Hmm, Ryan's party is on the lower level. "I'm going to use the rest room down here, Jack. I'll be up in a few minutes. Will you just order me some sparkling water?" He looked like he knew he should wait with her but all of the big kids were going to play and he didn't want to be left out. "Go on," she urged. "I'll be up in a few minutes." His smile of relief was actually kind of funny and she patted his cheek and stood on her tip toes for a kiss. "See you soon," she promised as she started off in the direction of the rest rooms.

After a quick stop to check her makeup she made her way down to the lower level. It didn't take long to figure out which party was Ryan's. Women of every shape, size and color were streaming in and out of the largest room on the floor. Jamie noted with relief that no one was checking tickets so she slid right in and looked around for a few minutes.

She was just about to give up when she felt a warm presence behind her. A deep voice floated past her ear, "Are you here to learn the secret handshake?"

Jamie's entire face broke into a delighted grin as she turned to greet her friend. Ryan's arms enveloped her in a hug and she relaxed into the embrace feeling all of the tension leave her body. "Mmm, you smell good," Jamie said as she pulled away. "And you look fabulous," she enthused as she stood back and got a good look.

"Actually it's Tracy that smells good. I just smell like her," she said with a lascivious eyebrow wiggle. "Boy, Jack must be unconscious somewhere to let you get away tonight," Ryan said with a twinkle in her eye. "You look as good as your lasagna tastes."

Jamie playfully slapped her on the shoulder as she looked around. "Speaking of dates where's yours?"

"I just left her in a ridiculously long line for the rest room. Where is Jack by the way?"

"He's with the other fascinating conversationalists from Morris & Foster. They're having a drink while they try to bore each other to death."

"Oh oh," Ryan said playfully. "Is somebody grouchy?"

"I shouldn't be," she said with an embarrassed smirk. "But I had the crazy notion that Jack wanted to be with me tonight."

"And he doesn't?"

"Nope. It's just business."

"I'm sorry, Jamie," she said as she squeezed her shoulder. "I wish you were having more fun."

"That's okay. I need to get used to this since it will be my life for the next several hundred years."

Mainly to lighten the mood Ryan revealed, "I think I'm going steady."

"Are you, now?" she said as she placed her hands on her hips and regarded Ryan carefully.

"I think so. Tracy told me she loves me," she said with an adorable blush covering her cheeks.

"That's so sweet," she said sincerely as she gave her friend a hug. "That woman has excellent taste!" After a beat she asked, "Do you feel the same?"

"I think so," Ryan said slowly. "I'm not quite ready to commit yet but I'm close."

"I'm really happy for you," she said as she hugged her again. "She's one lucky woman." As Ryan released her she said, "I've got to get back. Within an hour or two they'll miss me."

Ryan considered how little Jack must pay attention to her when she realized that Jamie's party was next door at the Fairmont. God, he doesn't even know when she leaves the building for a half hour! Ryan gave her a sad smile and said, "I really wish you were having a better time. You deserve so much more." But as soon as the words were out of her mouth she wished she could pull them back in. But Jamie did not seem offended in the least. She slid her arms around Ryan and hugged her tenderly as she rested her head against her chest.

"Thank you," she whispered as she pulled away. "It really helps to know that someone thinks I'm special."

"I do and I always will," Ryan pledged as she tilted Jamie's head up with her fingers. "Happy New Year, Jamie," she said as she bent and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

She stifled the tears than threatened to flow and patted Ryan gently on the cheek. "Congratulations, " she said sincerely. "I hope you and Tracy have a wonderful year together." Another quick hug and she was gone.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Minutes later Tracy was back. As she wrapped her arms around Ryan for another deep kiss she could feel the passion flare up again. "Umm, let's go somewhere where we can talk quietly," Ryan suggested.

"Why don't we get a room?" Tracy purred. "That would be quiet...for a while."

Ryan looked down into her sultry dark eyes and wrestled with her conscience. Tracy was definitely a little drunk but Ryan thought that she was still able to make thoughtful decisions. Ryan was completely ready to take her upstairs and ravage her all night long but she felt that she needed to discuss a few things first. So rather than jump into bed she suggested an alternative. "Let's have a drink first," she insisted. "Where would you like to go?"

"Let's stay right here," she said as she took Ryan by the hand and led her to the elevator.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

By the time they were shown to a small table by the window Ryan was so focused on her date that she completely failed to notice Jamie in a large group of lawyers and their wives. But Jamie most definitely noticed Ryan. My God she looks great tonight, she thought as she watched the supple leather stretch taut against her legs as she sat down. And Tracy looks fantastic, too. But I wonder why they're here? I would think Ryan would have her in a horizontal position by now.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

On the way upstairs in the elevator a thousand thoughts flew through Ryan's mind. I feel almost ready to take the plunge but there's just something holding me back. I guess I'm just a little phobic about commitment but still...

Ryan actually ordered her first real drink of the night. When the server brought their Scotches she lightly grasped Tracy's hand and said, "Are you really ready to be intimate?"

A slow nod accompanied by a sly grin was ample evidence of her readiness. "Are you?' she asked as she squeezed Ryan's hand.

"I...I think so. I mean in one way I've been ready since the first time I saw you in class. I find you incredibly attractive and extremely desirable," she lifted Tracy's hand and gave it a gentle kiss. "But I made you a promise and I want to be sure we're both aware of where we stand. I feel close to being able to make a commitment but I'm not quite there," Ryan admitted.

"I'm not very interested in standing tonight, or tomorrow for that matter," Tracy replied with a leer. "I want to take you home and not let you out until school starts."

"But that's two weeks!" Ryan squeaked.

"I know," she whispered. "It'll take me that long to love you thoroughly."

"But I have to be home for the football games tomorrow," Ryan replied lightly in a partial tease, just trying to break the sultry mood.

"There's plenty of time for football some other time, Ryan. But just to keep you happy I promise I'll have you screaming about my illegal use of hands," she promised as she slid her hand up Ryan's leather clad thigh, coming dangerously close to her inseam.

"I'd sure like to get my hands on your tight end," Ryan replied winsomely as she gasped a bit for a deep breath. She shook her head to clear it and said, "I was serious about needing to be home for football tomorrow, though. I thought it would be a good time to introduce you to the whole family."

"But I've met your family," she said. "We had dinner right before I left for Christmas, remember?"

"That was just my father and brothers," Ryan informed her. "Now you need to pass inspection from my uncles, aunts and cousins."

"How many are there?" she asked hesitantly.

"About 25. They'll all be at the house tomorrow."

"I...I...I'll let you know if I can make it," she said slowly. "I do have some things I need to get done tomorrow."

On New Year's Day? What could you possibly have to do on New Years Day? Just to test the theory that was slowly forming in her head Ryan asked, "If I decide to skip the family party could I come over?"

"Sure," she said easily. "Any time. Or you could just avoid putting all those miles on your car and stay over."

"I don't think I'm ready yet, Tracy. I made a promise and until I'm ready to commit to you I don't feel right about it."

Tracy's hand was wandering up her thigh in the most alluring manner that Ryan had ever felt. "I release you from your promise," she purred. "Turn your vigilant little conscience off and follow your desire. It's okay if you don't love me yet...or ever for that matter. I just want you to take me home and love every little inch of me--slowly."

"Oh God," Ryan moaned weakly as she felt her resolve float away in a cloud of erotic thoughts.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

After a solid 10 minutes of staring at Ryan Jack finally turned his eyes to follow Jamie's. "Isn't that...?" he started to say but Jamie faced him again and leaned in for a kiss.

"Take me home," she begged. "I want to feel you inside me."

His eyes opened as wide as they were capable of opening and he completely lost his prior train of thought. God he's easy, Jamie thought to herself as Jack immediately leaned over to ask Jim if he was ready to leave.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Just as they were getting ready to leave the bar a couple that Tracy knew came in. "Don't even bother trying to get your car," they informed them. "There's a half hour wait."

Ryan hopped up and gallantly offered, "I'll go wait in line. Why don't you all have another drink and come down in a half hour?"

Tracy's friends handed Ryan their valet ticket and gratefully accepted her offer.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

As she stood in the bracing cold wind Ryan felt some of her determination return. I'm really not ready yet, she thought. I have to get to the bottom of this family thing. It might be my imagination but I get the impression that she's not interested in meeting and getting to know my family. And there's no way in the world I'll get seriously involved with anyone who doesn't like my family.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

The last drink was obviously the kicker since Tracy was sound asleep with her face pressed against the window of the truck by the time they reached the Marina. She was lucid enough to get in to her apartment but as soon as they hit the door she was on Ryan like a hungry dog on a bone. But now that Ryan had made up her mind the erotic temptation was quite a bit less than it had been in the bar. She lovingly undressed her friend with only a momentary desire to jump on top of her. After waiting for Tracy to finish in the bathroom Ryan guided her back to the bed. "Aren't you going to undress?" she asked hazily.

"I think these leather pants will feel really good against your skin," Ryan said softly. "Let's try it and see."

Tracy was obviously in the mood for a little experiment since she dropped face forward onto the bed. Ryan climbed on top of her thighs and forced herself to concentrate when Tracy let out a sexy low moan. God she had a gorgeous body, she thought as she fought to keep her desire at a manageable level. Ryan began to massage that gorgeous naked body; starting at her shoulders and slowly working her way down. By the time she reached her waist she heard the soft, deep breathing that signaled sleep. Leaning over her prone body she kissed her cheek and slid off her hips. She covered her with the sheet and duvet and carefully removed all of the pins that held her hair up. When she finished she ran her fingers through the silky tresses and thought, I would love to have that hair trailing over my breasts right about now. But a promise is a promise!

* * * * * * * * * * * *

As the days of winter break passed Jamie felt so close to leaving so many times that she lost count. The most frustrating thing was that her parents were absolutely no different than they had ever been. She felt like a blind person who has been given the gift of sight. She saw things that she had never seen before, in the interactions between her parents; in the way they treated her; even in the way they treated the staff. The insight was driving her crazy however, and she yearned to go back home to Berkeley. Seeing Ryan on Monday, Wednesday and Friday afternoons were the only thing that kept her sane.

She worked out with a frenzy in order to keep her mind off her family. She put in 2 or 3 hours of riding every day except Friday since she trained her legs that day. She had seen the nutritionist a few times, but she was so tense during this time that she continued to lose weight. She knew she was down lower than she had been when she fainted at the talk line, and she began to wear more modest work out clothes so that Ryan wouldn't notice.

She had to admit that Ryan was truly going out of her way to help cheer her up. After her workouts she took her over to the big empty parking lot of the local high school and patiently explained more of the intricacies of the motorcycle, allowing Jamie to ride the big bike for at least an hour each time. A week before break was over she surprised her by driving her over to the Department of Motor Vehicles and announcing that Jamie had an appointment to take her driver's test for her motorcycle license.