DISCLAIMERS: X and G belong to Missy Good. Some folks have borrowed them to make a tv show. (like most things, the book is better).
FAKE UPDATE WARNING: This is a fake update written in response to a fake review by a woman purported to be a bakery good.
PG WARNING: Please read all ****************** as "fade to black". Ugginess is forgone in favour of a PG-14.5 rating.
SUBTEXT WARNING: Let's just say, there is no plot. Dessert of your choice is encouraged.
RAISED EYEBROW WARNING: Please read all ^ to mean one raised eyebrow. ^^ to mean two. I doubt there will be ^^^ and ^^^^ raised at a time, but I leave that to your imagination.
VIOLENCE: Blood was spilt during this update. No small animals were killed.

quillbar.gif (999 bytes)

Gabrielle stirred, stretching before she even opened her eyes, then exhaled a rested and satisfied sigh. She turned to see the smiling face of her pillow and companion in the dim morning light. Xena reached over and lovingly stroked her cheek, then raised her hand to touch Gabrielle’s face as well. Gabrielle rolled back to her original place, half draped over her partner, propped up with one arm resting on warrior sternum. “Hi” she breathed out, more than said. In response, the warrior lifted her head for a gentle kiss then lingering to savour her soulmate. With long practiced understanding, Gabrielle leaned back and patted Xena’s tummy, then released her restless companion. Xena rose from the furs with a grace born of strength and agility. She uncoiled and stretched. No matter how many times Gabrielle watched her rise, she always felt her mouth go dry and her breath catch at the sight. Xena looked down at the sudden intake of breath and smiled knowingly. She threw a few small logs on the embers and said, “I’m going out for a bit. Stay in bed. I’ll find us something to eat.” Gab gladly closed her eyes, pulling the still warm furs back up around her ears, “S’kay. Hurry back.”

When she next opened her eyes, there was a warm cup of tea waiting for her. Xena appeared from a little closer to the entrance of the cave where she had been watching the remaining drizzle and secretly writing in Gabrielle’s cooking scroll. “Morning again. Feel awake enough to fry some quail eggs??” The blond’s stomach rumbled at the sound of something so delicious. She rolled out of bed, wrapping the fur around her shoulders against the wet chill, or at least the contrasting temperature from the snug nest. Eggs were cracked, whipped and poured. Wild onions, garlic and cheese were added, while slices of bread toasted on sticks. Tea was sipped as mouths watered. Finally sated, the cook looked over to her smiling and silent companion. It had felt so good to just be stuck here together, she hated to ask this, but, “The rain looks like it’s letting up. I guess we can go soon, huh?” “Not yet,” Xena answered, brushing back black locks, “Maybe tomorrow. Rivers are still too high.” The bard broke into a wide grin, then gave her partner a bored look, given away by the raised eyebrow, “^Whatever will we find to do to pass the time?” The warrior raised her two ^^ (bringing the total now to ^^^) flashing a smile that rivalled the sunrise.
Snuggled back in the warmth of the furs and Xena’s embrace, Gabrielle roused from her latest warrior induced hazy state. “Mmmmmm, Xena? Thanks for finally getting around to showing me that. I really didn’t think it was possible when I saw it on the wall at Aphrodite’s temple.” Stretch. “Good thing my yoga has limbered me up.” Xena was too hazy to respond with anything but a lopsided grin, which Gabrielle kissed, and then kissed again.
“Gabrielle, where did you learn that???”
“Not everything has to be learned first hand warrior,” Gabrielle smirked, “ Some of us read extensively........ hey, speaking of reading.... what were you doing with my scrolls this morning. You had ink on your fingers. Fess up.” with a gentle poke to the ribs.
Xena’s eyes widened into a guilty look. She resigned herself, rolled her eyes and reached over to the scroll bag to withdraw the cooking scroll. “I was just adding a little something to your recipes.”
“You’re writing recipes??” with a snort Gabrielle rolled onto her back and held the scroll up for inspection. In Xena’s handwriting were extensive instructions for a .....dessert she decided... called “honey-dipped bard.” “And all this time I thought it was my honeyed tongue you favoured......”
When Gabrielle woke again, Xena was snoring. She hated to wake her, but didn’t think she could move without her knowing since her sticky hands were sort of stuck to Xena. Slowly, or all at once? Still pondering, since she sort of liked where her hands were anyway, she looked back up to see ^a blue eye. “I’m one sticky bard here, partner, and we’re out of honey.” to which the warrior giggled. Springing up, she dragged the sticky bard with her to the back of the cave where she had discovered an outlet from the hot spring. There was a small waterfall from higher on the wall, cascading over a ledge of pebbles and making a warm, misty shower. There were a few stones at the base, then the water soaked back into the sandy floor. As the blond oohhed and aaahhed, the warrior ran back for some soap, then joined her under the warm spray. She had neglected to bring a washcloth, preferring to use her hands to get the bard in a lather.
The clouds had cleared and the sun having done a days work, was heading for it’s western bed. It blushed the sky pink and chuckled as it heard from the cave, “Ok, Weyrwoman, but this time I get to ride the dragon..”

They had been home a few days, still basking in the glow of their time together. Everyone else was rolling their eyes at the lingering mushy looks that passed between them, but they were oblivious to anything but each other. Xena was in the barn, when she heard Gabrielle let out a bloodcurdling yell. Luckily the barn door was open or she would have smashed right through it making a beeline to their cabin and the source of that yell. She burst in to find her partner sitting on the edge of the bed, holding her nose as it bled. Her mother was standing nearby, at the table, some of Gabrielle’s scrolls unrolled before her. “What happened??” Xena demanded as she dipped a cloth in cold water and held it to the bleeding nose. Cyrene raised her brow^, Gabrielle turned from a ghastly white to a deep pink, then hid her face against Xena’s leathers. Xena stared at her mother ^^ “Well?”
Cyrene matched her daughters stare, but gave an innocent shrug of her shoulders and said, “I was just going through these scrolls looking for Gabrielle’s recipe for those little dumplings with the red stuff inside that you like so well.” “And??” demanded the warrior. “And,” Cyrene began to smirk. “I came across Gabrielle’s account of your latest, um, adventure.” Xena looked like a deer caught in a hunter’s sights. She looked to the blond, now crimson, for confirmation of what her mother was saying....”You didn’t write that down, tell me you didn’t write that down!” Gab’s head pushed back against her chest so she could hide her face, but her ears were bright red. She sheepishly looked back up at her mother from her place on the bed, wrapped in embarrassed bard. Cyrene burst out laughing, holding up one scroll, and waving it in the air, “But this” she laughed so hard she couldn’t talk, waving the scroll again, “But this,” she repeated, tears streaming down her face, “was my favourite. And here I had given up on your ever learning to cook.” Great hoots of laugher cut off any further taunting Cyrene had planned for her daughter as she held up the recipe for “honey-dipped bard” “Apply generous amounts of honey........” great gawfaws, made louder as Xena’s nose began to bleed. Cyrene tried to hand her a wet cloth, she really did, but she finally had to leave the cabin to stop laughing before she passed out or wet her pants. Both daughters sitting on the bed, holding cold rags to their bleeding noses. Half way back to the Inn she heard peals of laughter coming from the cabin, and that almost got her going again.

The End

quillbar.gif (999 bytes)

Read Lauracy's Review | Return to Foolish Stories

Return to Main Page