Janice counted her lucky stars that Xena had stayed away so long. On the other hand, there’s no way she could see Xena swooning over some smarmy, rich, good-looking guy, no matter how captivating.
Janice had survived the afternoon and thanked the chaos that was the family reunion. Everyone was regaled with stories that involved mostly John Melvin and Chet, although Melinda was able to pipe in with one or two of her and Janice’s escapades in Greece. Mel did tell of when they first met, conveniently leaving out the part about Mel channeling Xena and fighting the God of War. Of course, Mel only knew what Janice told her about the experience because her ‘dreamless sleep’ during Xena’s occupation of her body left Mel with no personal memory of it, just the bruises and a ripped skirt.
Julianna and Susanna were horrified. “You were confronted by Nahzees?” The sisters’ heads swiveled back and forth between Melinda, who was seated on the sofa with John Melvin and Janice, who was seated opposite her, closer to Chet than she liked. “You could have been killed!”
“Mama, it only happened that one time. We’ve had no trouble since,” Melinda said.”
“It only happened once?” Julianna roared. “Once is more than enough. Melinda Beaulieu Pappas, you will not go back there,” Julianna commanded.
“Of course, I will,” Melinda said, defiantly. “It’s my work.”
Janice was about to speak up in Melinda’s defense and then said, “Wait, Beaulieu? That’s what the B stands for?”
“Yes, it’s my maiden name. What did you think it stood for?” Julianna asked Janice.
Janice shrugged. “I don’t know. Beatrice? Bernice? Belinda?”
Julianna raised an eyebrow, suddenly looking remarkable like an older Xena. “You think I named my daughter Melinda Belinda Pappas?”
Before Janice could think of a comeback for that, she said, “It wouldn’t be Beaulieu as in Beaulieu-Freeman? That Beaulieu? Old Silas whiskey?”
“Yes, my grandfather started that company,” Julianna said.
“My grandfather should have invested in that company for as much Old Silas as he drank,” Janice said. Everyone laughed and Janice hoped they had moved on from the subject of Melinda not going back to Greece with Janice. For Janice, that was not option she would entertain.
*****
Ridley had dropped by again with the kids and this time Roberta was with them. Janice thought Ridley’s wife was glamorous, with her fashion sense, silver screen star looks, and victory rolled hairstyle, but she didn’t contribute much to the conversation. Instead, Roberta helped Ophelia with snacks and refreshments plus kept a stern eye on her children.
Every time Janice asked if there was anything she could do to help, Roberta reminded her that she was a guest who should just relax and enjoy herself. Relax? That would involve copious amounts of Old Silas. Enjoy herself? Only after the Old Silas kicked in.
It was good to see Mel relax and enjoy herself, though. Mel retained her seat next to her youngest brother the entire afternoon, fawning over him, leaving no doubt which sibling was her favorite. Clearly John Melvin felt the same about his sister.
Janice learned a little more about Julianna, too, through a few narrations from her children. Julianna was raised in the blue-blooded affluence of Columbia’s high society. The governor was a classmate of her father’s, so Julianna and Suzanna visited the mansion often as children. As a young adult, she was the talk of the town, driving around in her father’s Rolls Royce Silver Ghost, a horseless carriage, when women weren’t allowed to drive. And much to Grandma Beaulieu’s chagrin, instead of just settling down and getting married to one of the many appropriate suitors her mother had lined up for her, Julianna went to France and studied for two years at the Sorbonne. She got homesick and returned to Columbia to attend the University of South Carolina and got a bachelor’s degree in mathematics. In her junior year, she met and scandalously eloped with a dapper student working on his master’s degree in Ancient Languages named Melvin Pappas. Normally once women got married, they were denied a higher education but not Julianna. Her father’s annual donations to USC were enough to make the school look the other way. That didn’t mean Mel’s mother stayed grateful, quiet, or obedient; Julianna was the first woman student to rebel at the tradition of women being dismissed early one day a week to do male students’ laundry.
Once Julianna had her own children, she understood how her mother felt robbed of the glory and satisfaction of a full southern wedding. Thankfully, twice divorced and once widowed, Susannah had three weddings, enough to make up for what Julianna had denied her. Also, the Pappas family were as loaded as the Beaulieu family, which eased her mother’s disappointment. Some.
Adding to the discussion around marriage and children. John Melvin said he was glad the engagement to Reverend Stonecipher’s daughter had not worked out.
“Why?” Suzanna asked. “Charlotte is still such a sweet girl.”
“And I loved her but we both would have been miserable. The Navy is my life. Being a pilot is my dream come true. She never wanted to leave Columbia. We never would have been able to work that out,” John Melvin explained. “When I am ready to commit to a marriage, I need a wife with a sense of adventure.”
All eyes turned to Janice. “Well, this isn’t awkward at all,” Janice said, uncomfortable at suddenly being the center of attention.
“Now, now, let’s not pick on my friend Jan, here,” Ridley spoke up. “She doesn’t strike me as the marrying kind. I think she prefers the honeymoon over marriage.”
“Ridley!” Mel nearly shrieked, hiding a deep blush behind her hands while Janice actually laughed.
Roberta walked behind the chair Ridley was seated in and swatted his shoulder. “That’s enough out of you,” Roberta chastised.
“Ridley George Pappas!” Julianna’s tone was scolding. “Janice and Commander
DeGuilliano are going to think I didn’t raise you right.”
When he heard a dirty-sounding chuckle coming from the direction of John Melvin and Chet, Ridley then had the wherewithal to look chastened. “I was just teasing. I’m sorry, Janice. I apologize, Mama.”
Janice tried to wipe her grin away. “Don’t worry about it, Mrs. Pappas. I’ve had a lot worse things said to me.”
“Not in this house you haven’t,” Julianna said, still glaring at her oldest son.
Well, not yet, at least, Janice thought.
*****
After dinner, where Melinda fulfilled her obligation to cook her special fried pork chops (which Janice had to agree were delicious) and bake her famous caramel apple pie (even more delicious), everyone moved to the screened-in section of the back deck and sipped on their teas of individual sweetness. Janice had spoken to Ophelia about brewing tea and letting her and Chet put sugar into their own beverages.
Ridley, Roberta and their kids left about an hour after supper as Amelia got cranky, George wouldn’t stop whining about how tired he was, and Roberta was pale.
The rest had moved on to drinking bourbon as dusk turned to twilight. Although Janice was still nervous about being accepted by Melinda’s family, she felt more comfortable now than she did that morning. Again, she found herself staring at Melinda, laughing, and talking animatedly with John Melvin. It gave Janice a spark of relief though whenever Chet would interject himself into the conversation, which was often, Melinda’s enthusiasm turned to politeness. She remembered Melinda once saying that bad manners were worse than poverty and Janice hoped that meant Melinda wasn’t really falling for but just being polite to Chet, the squid.
Then talk turned to the South Carolina state fair and Big Thursday which was a huge part of the Harvest celebration. “Are we going to the fair tomorrow?” Janice asked. She hadn’t been to a state fair since she was quite young.
“Oh, yes, ma’am,” John Melvin said. “It’s part of the tradition. Melinda hasn’t gone in two years.”
“Two?” Janice inquired. “I know last year you were in Greece with me but why the year before?”
“Well,” Melinda hesitated, her voice suddenly melancholy, “Daddy was really sick, and I just wasn’t up for all the excitement, I guess.”
“And,” John Melvin added, “I was still at Annapolis so I couldn’t take leave until Daddy passed. Then I was allowed bereavement but only long enough to attend the services and then I had to go right back to school.”
“I’m sorry, Mel,” Janice said. “I didn’t mean to bring up sad memories.”
“It’s alright, Janice. You didn’t know.” Melinda looked at her and smiled affectionately.
It was just a moment, but Janice’s breath almost caught. Goddammit, this woman’s smile is somehow going to be the death of me. She cleared her throat and looked around the veranda. “So, tell me more about the fair and Big Thursday thing because I thought all state fairs were on hold during the war.”
“Even though we aren’t officially in the war, the mayor keeps trying to close the fair under the guise of patriotism and saying it’s disrespectful to keep it going while our boys are off fighting,” Suzanna said. “But Governor Johnston believes the same as Governor Harley did, that we have little joy in our lives because of the impending war and the fair gives us something nice to look forward to.”
“Is Mayor Shortsleeves starting that nonsense again this year? He’s all hot air. He couldn’t win an argument in an empty house,” Julia commented, in mild disgust.
“I take it the mayor isn’t a friend of yours?” Chet asked Julianna.
“Technically, he was a friend of my late husband’s but only technically. Melvin had to work with him because of the university being so profitable to the city of Columbia but Melvin never trusted him for a second. Matthew Shortsleeves has lied and cheated his way into trying to make everybody believe he is the most trusted man in South Carolina. But everybody knows him and knows he will do anything for a payoff.”
“If you confront him on any of his suspicious dealing’s, he’ll try to throw you offtrack and say stuff like, ‘Do you know who I am? I’m the mayor. I donate to the well-respected Columbia Benevolent Society!’,” Suzanna said.
Julianna rolled her eyes. “Yes, well, I donate to the arboretum but that doesn’t make me a botanical garden.” She returned her attention to Janice. “Big Thursday is a peak day of fair week because on that day, everybody who isn’t stationed elsewhere, attends the fair, the state ball and then the football game.”
“Who are the Gamecocks playing tomorrow night, Mama?” John Melvin asked.
“Clemson Tigers so it should be a good game.”
“South Carolina’s team name is the Gamecocks?” Chet asked. “What’s a gamecock?”
Janice was also curious because the 12-year-old boy inside her had come up with his own explanation that was in no way an acceptable definition.
“It’s a rooster bred and trained for fighting,” John Melvin said. When Chet still looked confused, John Melvin added, “Roosters are also called cocks and cockfighting is a popular betting sport in the south.”
“Sounds barbaric,” Janice said.
“It is. It’s cruel and bloody and I have always hated it,” Melinda said. “Why the university couldn’t have come up with a more appropriate name has always puzzled me. They could have gone with the South Carolina Bucks since the Whitetailed deer is our state animal.” She looked over at her mother. “You’re on the USC board can’t you bring up the possibility of a name change?”
Julianna laughed. “I’m a still a silent board member, my darling girl, which means I’m seen and not heard and only important when they want money. If you think I can change the minds of a bunch of randy old men who have their own inside joke about the ‘cocks’ part of the team’s name, you’ve been away too long.”
Melinda looked shocked at Julianna’s blunt statement. “Mama!”
“What? I have learned in my five years of being on the board is that those men are deaf in one ear and can’t hear out of the other and that particular part of their lower anatomy rules over everything else.”
“That’s charming,” Melinda said, sarcastically, and blushed while Janice chuckled again.
“Has anything ever intimidated you, Mrs. Pappas?” Janice asked.
“Yes. Motherhood,” she said, with mock austerity, as she looked over at her two remaining children.
*****
When Janice knocked on the door of Mel’s bedroom, Mel was brushing out her long black hair during her nightly routine of getting ready for bed. “Mel? Can I come in?”
“Of course, Janice.”
“What a day, huh?” Janice said, shoving her hands in her pockets.
“Indeed. What do you think of John Melvin?”
“Good looking fella. Where’d the blond hair come from?”
“My daddy. His hair was blond right up until he was about 25 then it thinned and turned dark.”
“What did you think of Chet?” Janice asked and crossed her fingers, hoping for a bad review.
Melinda stopped brushing. “Well,” she hesitated, mulling over the question, “he is handsome and well-spoken but…”
“But?” Janice asked, trying to keep the hope out of her tone.
“But he does seem a little full of himself.”
“Most men are a little full of themselves,” Janice responded.
“My mama seemed to like him alright and Aunt Suzanna is happier than a clam at high tide. I’m sure she’s downstairs right now, rubbing her hands together in glee, thinking that she’s found me a match.”
Janice nodded. “And what do you think of him as a potential match?” she asked, hesitantly.
Melinda stopped brushing her hair. “I think he’ll be a good match for some woman who wants to be an arm decoration. Two years ago, that might have been me but not now. I like what we’re doing too much, Janice, to give it up to make other people happy or respectful of my life. If I was looking at being a high society wife, Chet might be the perfect husband but I’m not.
“Ever?” Janice asked, optimistically.
“Well,” Melinda considered, “Certainly not at this time. I really don’t want to be somebody’s wife, where my entire identity is rolled up in my husband’s name and money.”
“You could be like your mom. She seems to have done well with being someone other than Melvin Pappas’ wife. God, Mel, your mom’s a hoot,” Janice said admirably, almost gushing.
Mel’s demeanor suddenly changed. “Yes, I know. She’s been described as a cross between Scarlett O’Hara and a German Rottweiler.”
Janice grinned in agreement of that assessment. “She’s so fucking dynamic.”
“I know, Janice, all right?” Mel said, curtly. “I’ve been told often enough. You grew up in your father’s shadow? I grew up in my mother’s.” She went back to brushing her hair. “Don’t think I don’t love my mama, Janice, because I do, dearly, but I’m tired of the comparisons and expectations of wanting me to be Julianna, junior.”
Seeing Mel’s thinly disguised sadness and vulnerability, it hit Janice. “You’ve never been allowed to shine, have you?”
“I was always expected to compete with my mother, to be her, and I’m not her.
And I’ve been reminded my whole life that I don’t measure up.”
Janice’s heart broke for her. “Oh, Mel…” She moved from the doorway to kneel in front of Melinda, gently taking Mel’s hand. “Your mother is a whip-smart, fiery, ballsy broad – I mean, lady. But you’re not her.”
If Melinda could have hung her head any lower, she would have. “I said, I know, Janice,” Melinda said, barely above a whisper.
Janice reached up and lifted Mel’s chin, prompting Melinda to look at her. “But she isn’t you. You are your own woman, Melinda Belinda Pappas,” Janice said, softly, making Mel break into a small smile. “You are a beautiful, brilliant, charming as all get out – when you’re not Xena. You are the epitome of decency and good. You are ever the diplomat and, unlike your mother who, despite her fancy French education, is not familiar with the term esprit d’escalier, you know when to shut up. True, you’re sometimes all fingers and thumbs with two left feet and you can be infuriatingly stubborn, especially when it comes to me. You are humble, centered and naive and,” she paused and tenderly caressed Mel’s cheek, wiping away a falling tear, “I wouldn’t want you any other way.”
“Really?”
“Cross my heart and hope to die.”
“Don’t say that, Janice, we’ve come too close in the past year.”
There was a moment of silence between them as they studied each other. Janice realized she needed to get out of that room, or she would be kissing that beautiful face in front of her. She smiled, gently squeezed Mel’s chin, moved back and stood up. “Sounds like a big day tomorrow. I should get to bed and let you get some sleep, also.”
“Janice?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you. I’m so grateful for you,” she said, softly.
“That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me, Mel,” Janice said, suddenly choked up. “Goodnight, Mel,” she said quickly as she returned to her own room.
*****
Something woke Janice out of a sound sleep. When her eyes adjusted to the dark, she was startled by Melinda sitting on the edge of her bed. “Mel?”
“Guess again,” Xena growled.
Janice was now wide awake. “No. No, no, no, you can’t be here.”
“You think I’m happy about it? Every time I start getting frisky with my soulmate, I end up here,” Xena snarled, frustrated.
“I see where that would be exasperating,” Janice said, her memory wandering back a few nights earlier, recalling vividly one of Xena’s many skills. “I thought maybe whatever the situation was calling you here had resolved itself.”
“Obviously not,” Xena said, brusquely.
“Hey,” Janice, whose eye started to twitch, said. “Don’t take it out on me. I’m not the one who keeps bringing you here and I know as much about whatever is going on as you do.”
Xena raised a hand in supplication. “You’re right.” She took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Catch me up on what’s been happening.”
Janice did her best to recap all the events and conversations of the past two days. “Listen,” she continued, “We’re going to a fair tomorrow with Mel’s brother and this guy, Chet. Mel’s brother knows her just about better than anyone so it’s going to be difficult passing you off as a brain-damaged Mel.”
“Brain damaged?” Xena was insulted.
“You know what I mean,” Janice said and waved her off. “We briefly talked about
Mel’s concussion, but we all thought it was better.”
“Meaning you thought that I wouldn’t be back.”
“Yeah.”
“Even though we still have no idea why I keep showing up in the first place.”
“Yeah.” Janice’s shoulders slumped. “Maybe you should go back to bed and in the morning, Mel will be Mel again.”
Xena sighed. “We can only hope.” She focused on Janice after her vision became acclimated to the darkness. “Still got that eye thing, huh?”
*****
Much to Janice and Xena’s dismay, Mel had not returned by morning. After Janice’s eye stopped convulsing, she went downstairs, ahead of Xena, to announce that ‘Mel’ was not herself again, to prepare everyone for ‘Mel’s’ strange behavior.
“Is it that concussion thing?” Ophelia asked Janice.
“I think so,” Janice said, vaguely. “She’s talking and acting the same way she did yesterday morning, when she got off the train.”
“Oh, that’s too bad,” Suzanna said. “I’d hoped she’d recovered. At least her mama will be able to experience Concussion Melinda. I don’t think Julianna believed me.”
“Concussions are unpredictable,” Janice said. “The residual effects could last a while. That’s what the doctor on the train said.”
“The doctor on the train said what?” Julianna asked, as she swept into the kitchen. She looked around. “Good morning, all.”
“Good morning, Mrs. Pappas,” Janice said. “Mel isn’t feeling as well this morning and the doctor on the train said that concussions are like that so I just thought I would warn you in advance.”
“Να τους προειδοποιήσεις για μένα.” It’s to warn them about me, Xena said, entering the kitchen, with a smile.
Julianna approached Xena and felt her forehead. Xena seemed startled by the action, but Janice had reminded her upstairs, that Mel’s family was very touchy-feely. Since Xena could be very ouchy-bleedy when it came to invading her personal space, Janice made a point to refresh Xena’s memory.
“You don’t seem to be running a fever,” Julianna stated. “Are you nauseous? Dizzy? Seeing okay?” Julianna looked at Xena’s face, surprised. “Melinda, where are your glasses?”
Janice translated Julianna’s question.
“Right here.” Xena held up her hand to display the folded spectacles. “They give me a headache when I feel like this.”
“Melinda… what causes you to speak Greek?” Julianna asked, concerned. “Why do you sound like a Yankee speaking Greek?” Mel’s mother looked over at Janice, accusingly.
“Πρέπει να φταίει ο τραυματισμός στο κεφάλι, γιατί ακούγομαι μια χαρά.” It must be the head injury because I sound fine to me, Xena said, pleasantly.
“Well, this is the oddest thing I’ve ever seen,” Julianna said. “You don’t even seem like the same person. I really think you should see Dr. Applekamp.”
“I’ve seen a doctor, moth…” She was poked in the back by Janice. “Mama,” Xena quickly corrected, not that Julianna would have recognized the mistake.
Julianna turned to Suzanna. “Do you see it, too? Her whole bearing is different.”
“Yes, it is,” Suzanna agreed. “She’s strong as a steer, too.”
“Γεια σου, Είμαι εδώ.” Hello, I’m right here, Xena said, while Janice continued to interpret the conversation.
“Are you really?” John Melvin had joined the discussion at the bottom stair that led to the kitchen. He strolled to the icebox and removed the fresh orange juice Ophelia had squeezed that morning.
Xena turned toward John Melvin and her breath caught. She looked like she had seen a ghost. “Lyceus?” she asked in a haunted whisper.
“What?” Mel’s younger brother looked at her, confused.
“She said, ‘I see us’,” Janice said quickly. She was then on the receiving end of everyone’s attention. Janice shrugged. “Nonsensical stuff. Concussion.”
Xena couldn’t help herself. She reached over to John Melvin and pulled him into a crushing embrace.
“Whoa, take it easy there, Superman, I don’t need any broken bones.
Besides, why the hug? You just saw me nine hours ago.”
Janice saw tears in Xena’s eyes. Could it be possible that Mel’s brother was an exact replica of Xena’s beloved brother whose death for which she had always felt responsible?
“Seriously, Melinda, when did you get so strong?” John Melvin asked, as Xena eased up on the hug.
“That’s exactly what I said yesterday,” Suzanna stated, slapping the countertop, apparently glad for the corroboration.
Xena released John Melvin and wiped her eyes.
“My darling girl, why are you crying?” Julianna asked, gently.
“Must be the concussion making me emotional,” Xena said, getting control of her reaction. “Where’s your friend Chet?” Xena asked John Melvin, needing a subject change.
After Janice translated, Suzanna said, “Now, that’s encouraging, you asking after
Chet.”
“He apologized but he was called back to Charleston this morning for some top-secret military business he isn’t able to share with me. He said he will join us later, either for the ball or the game but he won’t be here for the fair,” John Melvin explained.
“That’s a shame,” Suzanna said. “I thought a full day at the fair, followed by the other festivities, would get you two better acquainted.” She looked pointedly at Xena.
Janice tried hard to contain her frown. “I thought you wanted Mel to stay home. If she marries Chet, she’ll have to go with him wherever he’s stationed. That would keep her away for years at a time.”
“Not really,” John Melvin said. “Chet’s rich and Melinda’s not poor,” He winked at Xena. “I’m sure she could get away from wherever he was stationed for a few weeks at least once a year.”
“And if she starts having babies, we could all go visit them,” Suzanna said.
“Are you all done planning out my life for me?” Xena, still speaking Greek, asked, amused. “How about we just get through today?”
“Yes, by all means,” Julianna said, “Let’s have breakfast and get you kids off to the fair. It’s Big Thursday. Make the most of it.” She smiled at her family and stopped when she got to Janice. “My dear, what is wrong with your eye?”
*****
“I remember when the carnival part of the fair was held on the streets of downtown Columbia,” John Melvin said, as they strolled toward the fairground entrance on Rosewood. “Melinda, remember when great-uncle Max was visiting from Greece, and he went on the Giant Rocket roller coaster with us?” John Melvin began to chuckle about the memory.
“Το ξέχασα, θύμισέ μου το.” Oh, I forgot. Remind me, Xena said, looking at Mel’s brother adoringly.
“He’d never been on a roller coaster before?” John Melvin prompted. When it to didn’t seem to spark a familiar recollection, John Melvin continued. “And when we went down that first drop so fast, he bit his cigar in half? He complained about the loss of that cigar and was picking tobacco out of his mouth for the rest of the day.”
“Why would he bite his cigar in half?” Janice asked before Xena could.
“Oh, because it scared him senseless,” John Melvin said. “You’ve been on roller coasters before, right?” After Janice nodded, he looked at Xena. “I know you’ve never been fond of quite a few of the rides but with Janice and me here to hold your hand, you’ve got to ride the Giant Rocket and the Caterpillar with us.”
“How do you know I like rides?” Janice asked.
John Melvin grinned. “Aw come on, Janice. An adventurer like you? I bet you aren’t scared of anything.”
“I’m not fond of Nazis,” Janice said, matter-of-factly.
“Who is?” John Melvin countered. He took his wallet out of his pocket. “I’ll pay for us to get in,” he said, hurrying up to the ticket booth.
“What are rides?” Xena asked Janice.
They stood at the entrance and Janice pointed to the mechanical devices on the midway. “Rides are machines that move people in several ways to create entertainment and enjoyment. Some rides move horizontally and align with the ground, like the train and cars do. They usually spin around in a circle. Then there are vertical rides that take you vertically in the air and then back to the ground again. They move on gravity.”
“Sounds dull. I’m not sure how something so boring sounding can be joyous,” Xena said.
***
“Jesus Herman Christ, that was fucking amazing!” Xena exclaimed, joyously, after the roller coaster cars came to a stop.
“What’d she say?” John Melvin asked.
“She said, ‘Oh my goodness, I loved it’,” Janice said, nearly giggling at Xena’s reaction. The warrior was like a little kid. “That was great. It’s been so long since I’ve been to a fair, I forgot how much fun they are.”
“Apparently, my sister has forgotten how much she hated it. I have never seen her take such delight on the Giant Rocket!”
“What’s next?” Xena asked. “Can we ride that again?”
“Let’s go try the Caterpillar now because there’s barely a line,” John Melvin said.
But Xena pointed to the Aerial Joy Ride, a tall tower with sixteen two-seater cars resembling tiny airplanes, suspended from a huge ring. “Let’s go on that one.”
Janice didn’t have to translate as John Melvin saw where his “sister” was pointing. “This is crazy. You’ve always hated that ride, too. Oh, look, there are the bumper cars. Let’s go on them next.”
***
“Xena, the original purpose of bumper cars is to dodge them, not conquer every car in the rink. That’s why the original name was Dodge ‘em,” Janice patiently explained. “The goal is to avoid getting hit by any car, not ram into anything that’s moving.”
“But it was more fun my way,” Xena said.
“You made that little boy cry.”
“He started it. He hit me first,” Xena said, defensively.
“He was a little boy, trying to control his car!”
“Did you see that demonic smile on that kid’s face when he kept crashing into me? That kid was Hades reincarnate. He didn’t like it when I treated him the way he was treating me.”
“And neither did his mother. There were complaints,” Janice said, trying to physically stop her eye from spasming.
John Melvin joined Janice and Xena. “Well!” He said, rubbing his hands together. “We’re banned from riding the bumper cars again.” He saw Janice pick up on that he didn’t seem too broken up about it. He shrugged. “It bothers my back. Those cars are too small.”
“It didn’t seem to bother Wilbur Shaw over here,” Janice’s head tilted in Xena’s direction.
“It’s wonderful to see you have such a good time,” John Melvin said and leaned into Xena. “Personally, I think those mamas overreacted.” He linked arms with his ‘sister.’ “Come on, Melinda, let’s go on the Caterpillar.”
“How about we do something calm, like those flying swings?” Janice suggested.
*****
“Gee, Janice, I’m so sorry,” John Melvin said, holding Janice’s hair back as she threw up in the rusted metal trash can behind the ride platform. “I never would have thought something as sedate as the swings would have made you sick to your stomach. You were a real trooper on the more exciting rides.”
Janice’s hands were resting on her knees before she fully stood up. John Melvin handed her a handkerchief on which she wiped her mouth. “Well, that was pleasant,” her expression saying it was anything but. “I don’t know what it was but as soon as those swings ballooned out from each other, my stomach just flipped. And that kid running the ride wouldn’t stop it.”
“Don’t think he’ll do that again. You vomited all over his head from above. He’s going to have to work all day in those clothes. Thankfully you didn’t get any of it on you.”
“Little bastard,” Janice said. Suddenly she looked up at John Melvin. “My apologies. That was unladylike.”
John Melvin chuckled. “I thought you told Chet you were no lady.”
“True,” Janice agreed, “but if I offended you -”
Laughing harder, John Melvin then said, “Janice, I’m a sailor. I doubt there’s any curse word you could say that would shock me.”
Janice relaxed. “I grew up around mostly men doing dirty, smelly, sweaty work. The language could sometimes be a Thesaurus of excretion. I sometimes I forget whose company I’m in when I let curse words fly so freely.”
“Well, I’m okay with it but my mother will wash your mouth out with soap.”
“I don’t doubt it. Where’s Melinda?”
“Remember when we passed that food tent, and she liked what she smelled? She went back to get a plate of gizzard poutine.”
Just the thought of a fowl’s fried entrails drenched in a thick gravy over french fries prompted Janice to snuggle up to that rusted barrel and deposit more of her breakfast in it.
Xena approached them enthusiastically devouring the food on her plate. Before she could get within 25 feet of Janice and John Melvin, John Melvin frantically waved Xena away, pantomiming eating, then pointed at Xena and waved her away again while Janice was still throwing up. Xena nodded at John Melvin, finished her food, tossed the paper plate in the trash, walked back to Mel’s brother and Janice. When Janice stood up and again wiped her mouth, Xena gently rubbed Janice’s back.
“I’m going to go to find her something for her stomach. I’ll be right back,” John Melvin said.
“Son-of-a-bitch, that was not fun,” Janice declared and cleared the phlegm out of her throat, spitting into the garbage can a few times.
A few minutes later, John Melvin returned and handed Janice a paper cup that held a dark liquid in it. “It’s Coke and Bitters,” John Melvin told her. “It should help.”
“Where did you find Bitters in the middle of a fair?” Janice asked, smelling the concoction before sipping it.
“I know a guy who knows a guy,” John Melvin said.
The trio walked around the fair for a little while, visiting some of the exhibits before John Melvin brought up the possibility of going on more rides.
“That doesn’t sound fun to me yet,” Janice said and grimaced.
“I thought you felt better,” Xena said.
“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Nothing much left in my belly anyway,” Janice replied, taking her last sip of Coke and Bitters.”
“What would you like to do now?” John Melvin asked.
“Does this fair have a fun house or a haunted house, something like that?”
“Absolutely,” John Melvin said, grinning. “Melinda loves haunted houses.”
*****
“I do apologize for my sister,” John Melvin told the police officer. “She has a concussion from a fall she took on the train two days ago. I just think she was startled.”
“Of course she was startled. It’s a haunted house!” the police officer replied. “But putting Frankenstein in a head lock and punching the snot out of him is not the proper response. And why is Melinda speaking mumbo jumbo, John Melvin?”
“It’s the concussion Hank,” John Melvin said to the police officer he, his brother and Melinda had known since childhood. “And she just returned from Greece which is why she is probably speaking Greek.”
“Yeah, I remember when she ran away last year. Look at what it did to her. Your daddy would be so upset. What’d she do in Greece? Wrassling? Boxing?”
“Come on, Hank, give her a break,” John Melvin said. “It’s been a rough year for all of us, losing our daddy and all. We’ve all had to make adjustments and it hit Melinda harder than the rest of us. You know what a daddy’s girl she was.”
“Well, now, don’t worry. Teddy Cooke says he won’t press charges. He doesn’t want anyone to know he got the crap kicked out of him by a girl. Especially not one as feminine and refined as Melinda, well, used to be.”
“That was Teddy Cooke? Wow, he’s bulked up and gotten taller.”
“Yeah, look, I don’t want to throw y’all out of the fair, so you promise me your sister will behave herself and I’ll let y’all be on your way,” Hank said. “Don’t take her to any more haunted houses. Or even the Fun House. Especially keep her away from the bumper cars. Take her to the beer garden, that’ll calm her down.”
John Melvin laughed. He looked over at Janice sitting next to his sister, talking to her. “That’ll calm us all down.”
“How many times do I have to apologize?” Xena asked Janice, exasperated.
“As many times as it takes to not get yourself arrested. Look, it was an honest mistake, at least on your part,” Janice said, her tone conciliatory. “I should have known that people jumping out at you unexpectedly would not be a good idea, so it’s my fault, too.”
They watched as the policeman and John Melvin parted ways. John Melvin walked toward them. “You lucked out, sis. Frankenstein’s embarrassed monster is not going to press charges. Where did you learn to fight like that? They don’t even teach us to punch that good in the Navy. Dang, Melinda, you leave as my prim and proper sister and come back as Jack Dempsey.”
After Janice finished telling Xena what John Melvin had said, and explained who Jack Dempsey was, she turned to Mel’s brother. “I taught her how to fight like that.” A glare in Xena’s direction stopped the Warrior Princess from releasing a side-splitting laugh at that statement. Janice continued, “We’ve been working in safe places with very few exceptions, but I felt she should know how to clobber someone if it was necessary. Remember, we do occasionally run into Nazis over there. Nazis aren’t big on respect or permission, especially with women so she needed to learn how to defend herself.”
“You might have made her a little too jumpy. Tell her she needs to try and control herself, though, or we’re going to get asked to leave,” he said with a wink to his ‘sister’.”
“Come on, Joe Louis,” Janice said, to Xena. “Let’s go find another ride.”
“Ποιος είναι ο Joe Louis?” Xena asked.
“Did she just ask who Joe Lewis is?” John Melvin, agape, inquired of Janice.
Even though that’s exactly what Xena had asked, Janice said, “No, she said ‘I like Joe Louis.”
“Really? She hates boxing.”
Shit. Janice just smiled and pointed to her brain. “Concussion. What can I tell ya?”
“Γιαγαντιαίος πύραυλος?” Xena asked, enthusiastically.
“Let me guess,” John Melvin said to Xena. “You want to go back on the Giant Rocket again.” As she enthusiastically nodded, John Melvin took her hand and said, “Not before we go on the Caterpillar. I’ve been waiting all day.” He pulled her in the direction of the ride, then turned to Janice. “Are you coming?”
“I’ll pass,” Janice said, putting her hand up a halting motion. “You two have fun.”
*****
The trio stayed at the fair until late afternoon with no more incidents. As
“Melinda” and John Melvin began to run into more and more people they knew, Janice advised Xena to just pretend she had lost her voice. It seemed easier than explaining why someone born and bred in Columbia could not speak English. Janice thought Xena did well pretending to know people and receiving hugs without bristling or punching anyone. Well, except for Teddy Cooke but hopefully that was resolved.
They skipped the annual ball and chose to return to the Pappas estate to have another home cooked dinner. Chet had still not returned from Charleston, so they decided to go ahead to the football game and not wait for him. Ophelia or Edison would let Chet know, if he returned in time to catch most of the game, that he had a place in the Pappas section.
The Pappas family had their own private, small, seating area partitioned off at Carolina Stadium, as watching the Gamecocks play was a family event and the Pappas’ name was treated like royalty at the University.
As all the household chores were done, Janice asked Ophelia if she and Edison would be accompanying them to the game and was told that, unless they worked there, colored people were not allowed to attend any of the festivities but there would be a fair specifically for them next week, put on by the Colored State Fair Association.
Janice was fuming when she went upstairs to use the bathroom and then find Xena, who’d preceded Janice upstairs to ‘freshen up.’ Upon Janice’s exit from the lavatory, she ran directly into Xena, coming down the hall from Mel’s bedroom.
“I cannot fucking believe the south!” Janice said in a harsh whisper. “I know you don’t know anything about our civil war but -”
“Of course I know about the war between the states. For goodness sakes, Janice, what are you going on about?” Melinda drawled.
“Mel! You’re back,” Janice said, relieved. She enveloped Mel in a grateful hug.
“Obviously, I’ve missed most of the day. Did I at least have fun?” Mel stepped away from Janice.
“Uh…sure. You had a great time,” Janice said, not lying but omitting Xena’s close calls with getting arrested. “And, no, we still don’t know the reason for her being here.”
“I wish we’d find out why she keeps showing up,” Mel said. “I’d really like to visit with my family.” Mel’s tone was a cross between annoyance and curiosity.
“Trust me, it’s no fun for me and Xena isn’t amused, either. On the other hand,
John Melvin and I are becoming great friends, united in passing you off as Mel.”
“You mean he knows?” Mel looked shocked that Janice would tell anyone who hadn’t been there when the first soul switch took place.
“No but we ran into too many of your friends at the fair and he’s been quick to immediately take over the conversation. Xena did really well by pretending to be you with laryngitis and letting total strangers touch her…for the most part.” Those last four words came out in a mumble.
“What was that?” Melinda leaned forward, turning her ear toward Janice.
“Nothing, really. It’s just Xena can be a bit peevish with contact. She is every inch a warrior and not a polite, refined, southern belle, but she gave John Melvin control and took her cues from him. Just like you’ll have to do tonight if you run into any of the people we ran into this afternoon.”
Melinda nodded. “This is a nightmare,” she said, frustrated. “I missed the entire day at the fair and all that time with John Melvin.”
“Speaking of that, apparently, your brother looks almost exactly like Xena’s younger brother, Lyceus.”
“Oh, my,” Melinda exclaimed. “How strange is that, Janice?”
“I don’t question ‘strange’ anymore. I hope whatever Xena is doing here is resolved before we go back to Greece. I can’t have a 1900-year-old warrior blowing her top on a Stratoliner, 20,000 feet over the Atlantic because she doesn’t understand aerodynamics.”
“No, that would definitely be a problem,” Melinda said, as Janice gaped at her understatement. “Now, why were you asking about the war between the states?”
“Melinda?” Julianna called from downstairs, “We don’t want to be late for the game.”
“We’re coming right down, Mama,” Melinda responded.
“Oh, thank goodness. Melinda’s back,” the voice of John Melvin said, with definite relief in his tone.
Once Mel & Janice reached the bottom of the stairs, Julianna met them with her arms crossed over her chest. “What’s this I hear about you roughhousing at the fair?”
Janice cut a sharp look to John Melvin who shook his head and shrugged. “I didn’t say anything,” he told his sister’s best friend.
“Say anything about what?” Julianna asked, suspiciously, turning toward her youngest son.
“I have no recollection of anything, Mama, although my knuckles hurt a little,” Melinda said, shaking out her hand.
“Um, what did you hear, Mrs. Pappas?” Janice asked carefully.
“I got a call from Adele Shortsleeves who heard from Annabella Anderson-Gore that my lovely girl here, hit some people while yelling gibberish.”
“Greek,” Janice corrected.
“Well, I know that but Mrs. Anderson-Gore didn’t.” Julianna said.
Melinda, righteously, registered shock. She looked back and forth between her brother and Janice and their guilty silence made her eyes narrow. “Anything you forgot to mention during my ‘debriefing’?”
“Oh, I know,” John Melvin said and snapped his fingers as though he just remembered the incident. “Melinda kept losing control of her bumper car and ran into a few other riders, some were kids. Their parents took exception to that. But it wasn’t on purpose so we didn’t think it would be an issue. Right, Janice?”
“Right, John Melvin,” Janice agreed, impressed at his quick thinking. Neither mother nor daughter appeared to be convinced, though.
“I certainly don’t consider that roughhousing,” Julianna said. “I’m sure she said
Melinda really hit somebody.”
“Oh, you know how Annabella exaggerates,” Suzanna said, breezing into the room. “Come on, let’s go or we are going to miss Kick Off. Also, Chet called and he’ll meet us at the game.”
“Okay,” Julianna said and picked up her purse. “But I’m not sure we’re done talking about this,” she said to Melinda and John Melvin, before she turned and followed her sister out the door.
Janice, relieved at believing she had dodged a bullet, found her mood short lived when Melinda leaned into her and crisply said, “I know we aren’t done talking about this.”
*****
The Pappas entourage settled themselves into their reserved seats at the fifty yard-line in the Gold Section at Carolina Stadium. They arrived in time to see the teams get introduced and take the field.
“Wow,” Janice said, looking out onto the gridiron. “The view from these seats is amazing. I’ve never been this close to the players before. I feel as though I should be in on the team huddle.”
“I’m going to get a coke from concessions,” John Melvin announced. “Anybody else want anything?”
“I’ll go with you,” Janice said, jumping up from her chair.
As they walked away, she overheard Suzanna say to Mel, “They’re getting along fabulously. Don’t you think so, Melinda?”
Janice turned back to see Mel look up at her and her brother, then back at her aunt. “It does seem so,” Melinda agreed. Janice thought she sounded sad. Or maybe Janice just hoped she sounded sad. Once they got out of hearing range, Janice tugged on John Melvin’s sleeve. “This gossip your mother heard, do you think that will actually go anywhere?”
He shrugged, as they got in line. “I hope not but some of these old biddies are like porch dogs with a beef bone. They lock their jaws onto it until it’s been chewed up swallowed and pooped out so they can sniff through that.”
Janice grimaced and said, “That sounds particularly graphic.” She heard the roar of the crowd responding to kick-off. Once the noise level dropped, she said, “I just don’t want Melinda’s pristine reputation to get muddied because of her alternate personality from the concussion.” Or because of her association with me, Janice thought.
“I wouldn’t spend too much time worrying about it. You two will be gone again in a couple days and I know my mama won’t stand for anything bad said about my sister. They may not have always got along but she is fiercely protective of Melinda and Melinda’s status, especially if it’s a threat to the Pappas name. She certainly spent enough time making sure Melinda was as perfect as she could be, especially in public.”
Oh, goody, Janice thought, her shoulders slumping, there goes any hopes of a future for Mel and me.
“Also, if Mrs. Anderson-Gore persists, Mama will put her in her place. Especially since Teddy Cooke promised Hank he would not speak of the incident ever again.”
“True. And since nobody was in that Frankenstein room with us when it happened, it’s not like any witnesses can contradict him,” Janice said. “If Hank hadn’t been right outside and heard the commotion, no one would have been the wiser.”
“You mean if Teddy hadn’t told on himself to Hank and then realized what it sounded like when he said it.” John Melvin chuckled. “The look on his face with that monster make-up on.”
Janice joined him in the laughter. “What about the bumper cars?” They moved up in line and she waited until she and John Melvin purchased their sodas and were on their way back to their seats.
“No way will Mama believe Melinda ever made a child cry on purpose.”
“Yeah, but, I don’t want you outright lying to your mother, either,” Janice said to him.
“Don’t worry. Mama will have an entire conversation in her head, work out the details of what she righteously believed happened and not only will no one be able to change her mind, no one will get a word in edgewise when she tells you her version of what happened. I honestly believe that my mother invented the southern soliloquy.”
Back in their section, after the Gamecock cheering occupants of the stadium did their tenth rendition of “Hold That Tiger,” and before the end of the first quarter, Melinda leaned over to Janice and asked, “It looks like you and John Melvin are getting close.”
“He’s a cute guy,” Janice said, paying more attention to what was going on downfield, where the Tigers were waiting to score. She then looked at Melinda to see what appeared to be a worried look on the bespeckled beauty’s face. “Don’t worry, Mel, I think he’s great, but I am not attracted to him.” When she thought Melinda would respond with a grateful sigh because heaven forbid anyone as common as Janice would marry into the family, Melinda sat back and looked insulted.
“Why? What’s wrong with him?” she said, sounding offended.
“Nothing,” Janice said, defensively. “He’s perfect…for somebody else. He’s just not my type. I thought we talked about this.”
“Well, we sort of did but I thought maybe you changed your mind with all the time you’re spending with him.”
Janice smiled and patted Melinda’s shoulder. “Like I said, he’s a great guy and I think we’ve become pretty decent friends through all of this, but I can assure you there is no attraction there.”
“Maybe Chet is more to your liking?” Melinda asked.
“Nope. Sorry, Mel, but Chet is about as appealing as a shit lollipop.”
“Oh, my, that’s descriptive,” Melinda said, disgusted and amused.
“Speaking of the anchor clanker,” Janice said, as Chet approached the group.
“Anchor clanker?” Melinda asked, not understanding the slang.
“Sure, anchor clanker, swabbie, squid. You know, Navy men,” Janice told her.
“Hey, everyone. My apologies for missing what sounds like a fun day. Duty called,” Chet said, smiling. He was oozing charm as he greeted Julianna and Suzanna. When he passed over John Melvin and Janice with barely a glance, he pulled a chair to sit next to Melinda, raised her hand up to his lips and kissed it, never breaking eye contact. “Melinda. You’re looking exquisite, as usual. You must promise me at least one dance at your family’s costume party tomorrow evening since I missed dancing with you tonight.”
Melinda told him she would, nearly giggling like a schoolgirl again, which annoyed Janice almost beyond reason. She leaned over to John Melvin. “Do you think you could rein in Rudolph Valentino over there? I think he’s making your sister uncomfortable.”
John Melvin leaned forward to look, then sat back. “I think it’s making you uncomfortable,” he told Janice and smirked.
Thankfully, Janice had swallowed the gulp of soda she had just taken, otherwise she would have spewed it all over him. “What? What do you mean?”
“Chet’s a catch. You’re attracted to him, too. I get it,” John Melvin said.
Janice stared at him, slack-jawed, then closed her mouth and patted his hand. “Oh, John Melvin. Dear, sweet, John Melvin, I can promise you you’ve completely misread the situation.”
He looked at Janice, surprised, then clearly misread the situation even more. He smiled, brightly. “Janice, I’m flattered and if I wasn’t already seeing a woman in Hawaii…” He trailed off, his voice hushed. “I haven’t said anything to anyone yet because I don’t want to jinx it. You won’t tell anyone, will you?”
“Only if you tell me about her later,” Janice whispered to him, conspiratorially.
“Now, Janice, you’re family now,” John Melvin said and winked at her. “So I can’t or I might jinx it.”
Janice laughed, while the crowd suddenly screamed about the USC quarterback getting sacked.
“Hey!” Suzanna jumped up, hollering out to the field, “Would it be too much to ask the team to put someone in who could protect our quarterback?!”
“Put in Melinda Pappas!” The shout came from the balcony above them. The family looked up in unison to see Teddy Cooke yelling to the coach on the field while glaring daggers at Melinda.
Janice and John Melvin then saw that the other four occupants of the Pappas section were scowling at them and they sunk down in their seats. She focused on Melinda, whose eyes were slits and lips were pursed.
Both of Janice’s eyes began to twitch.
*****