A New Goal in Life...

Part 4

by Ri

 

For disclaimers: Please see part 1.




        
        Roxie was in the garage she was feeling restless and needed to do something to take her mind off her troubles for a little while. She decided to set up a game that shouldn't hurt her ankle but give her some activity for a little while. It was a hockey game her Mom gave her and Jimmy when they were kids. There were two goal posts, two hockey sticks, a white plastic puck weirdly shaped with bearing on it so it would slide around a floor. She limped around setting up the goal posts at each end of the garage. She smiled reflecting as she stood in the middle of the garage with the small hockey stick in her hands about all the good times she and her brother had playing with the silly game.

        It was an innocent start to her career though no one could have predicted that. She loved the game she had made up her mind that this was what she was going to do. Of course it wasn't till she was 10years old and her mother took her and Jimmy to a real game that she found out she had to learn to skate first. After much begging her mom set up lessons for both her and brother at an indoor rink that was near her home. She was a natural on skates and was soon skating circles around the other 10 years old and her big brother. When she was 12years old she was the captain of the girl's Hockey team at the rink. Her life had begun and she didn't even realize it.

        She laughed and shook her head at the memory. She would have to remember to tell her love about that; She would enjoy that early story. She took aim and easily slid the plastic puck into the tiny goal post.

        “Its really easy to do that if there is no one there to block it, huh?” Asked Jimmy leaning against the garage door.

        “I was just fooling around remembering when I was foolish child thinking that I was the queen of the court.” She replied with an embarrassed grin.

        Jimmy laughed and walked lazily over to pick up the other hockey puck. “Which you were and are.”

        Roxie shrugged and then asked quietly, “And just what do you think your doing?”

        “I'm going to pretend to be you and be goalie to liven up your game.”

        “Uh Jimmy, I don't think that's a very good idea…I…”

        “Well I could snitch to Candy about your running around on that ankle and watch the fireworks begin,” He threatened chuckling.

        “Hey you wouldn't do that….Would you?”

        An evil grin came to his face and she rolled he eyes, “Well then you hit the ball and I'll be goalie. I don't want you to hurt yourself.”

        Now Jimmy rolled his eyes but he complied. He walked to where she was and she limped to the goal post.

        The first four balls Roxie let go right into the net. Her mind was made up that he was not going to hurt himself on her watch. When she stood up from picking up the pucks he was standing there with his hands on hips glaring at her.

        “What?”

        “Stop it.”

        “Stop what?”

        “Rox, I don't need you protecting me. It's a child's game for God's sake. I am a grown man I can handle figuring out when I'm tired all by myself!”

        “But…”

        “Just play for real damn it! Your professional if you ever did that in reality you would be suspended so fast your head would spin. Just play the damn game! Now slide the damn pucks over here.”

        She looked at him shocked she took a deep breath and released it. She slid the pucks toward him and readied herself in a defensive stance. He hit the puck toward her and she deflected it but she easily made sure it went right back toward him.

        He threw the stick down and yelled, “Damn it Rox, Stop that! If you don't block the next ball like I know you can I will take this puck and stick and stuff it down your damn throat! Maybe that will convince you I'm not helpless.”

        Forgetting for the minute he was sick and suddenly acting exactly like the sister he knew so well she spit out, “Oh yeah, you and what army!?!”

        “Just you try me big sister.” He growled, inwardly he was delighted this was the Roxie he needed right now.

        
        “Ok Little brother come at me with your best shot,” She growled reading herself like she would for a game. For 15 minutes they played hockey like they did when they were kids. Intense and competitive. Then laughing and trying to catch his breath at the same time Jimmy held up his hand and said, “Ok that was a great game but I'm pooped. Let's rest my body and your ankle.”

        “Oh God, Jimmy I'm so sorry you made me so mad I totally forgot…”

        “Please don't be sorry Rox. It was great fun. I enjoyed it. I don't want you to
baby me. I want to live my life to the fullest no matter how short it is. I really loved playing against you full force it just has to be for a shorter period then it use to be.”

        Roxie nodded, She felt her eyes sting but kept them in check he didn't want that. She took his stick and the pucks and put the game away. Then arm in arm they went into the house.

        ***                ***                ***                ***

        Roxie flopped on her bed fighting with her emotions. She had so many hitting her at once right now she just didn't know how to deal with it.

        Candy came into their room and found Roxie looking like she was about to burst into tears, “Roxie?”

        Roxie's head came up and tried to smile but she just couldn't manage it, “Hi Love,” She replied very quietly.

        Candy sat down on the bed and brought the other woman into her lap, she gently ran her fingers through her long tangled hair and asked, “What's wrong?”

        “How is it possible to mad as hell at someone and want to kiss him at the same exact moment?”

        “I don't understand what you mean.”

        “My brother goaded me into playing an old kids hockey game with him full force. He couldn't keep that up but he had a huge smile on his stupid face. He actually bullied me into forgetting he was sick so I wouldn't hold back. Why would he do that? I don't understand him.”

        “I think its because he loves you and wants you to act like you always do around him. He wants you to act like his big sister not another mother. He already has a great mom. He needs his sister who teases and is competitive. I think I understand both of you. Do you know what the common factor is here?”

        
        Roxie met wise green eyes with tear filled blue and shook her head, “No.” She said to upset to really think it though.

        Candy shook her head and kissed her on the nose, “Yes you do. It's love. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. Stop trying to fix everything, They want you to be yourself. That's what both your brother and mom want from you. They just want your love and your presence.”

        Roxie leaned her head against Candy's shoulder and sobbed her eyes out. She then pulled back and took a deep breath looking into the smaller woman's loving gaze, “Oh God Candy, I don't even know who I am anymore. Am I still me? Can I still be his big sister when he is so terribly sick? I am utterly confused.” She crawled closer till she was tangled around the smaller woman who was stroking her hair and nuzzling her cheek against Roxie's.

        Candy marveled at how vulnerable Roxie allowed herself to be around her. She was so special and all she wanted to do was love and comfort her. “I think you know exactly who you are and how to be. You just have to relax. If wants to play like you use to you should. He knows what his limits are and maybe this is his way of being your little brother as long as possible. After all who else would know the right buttons to push to get you that pissed?” She asked with sweet smile gently pulling Roxie's face up to look into red rimmed blue eyes.

        Roxie nodded and said, “Your right…Its just so hard…”

        “I know it is. I love you, Roxie,” Candy said as she kissed her deeply.

        Roxie returned the kissed and rolled them so that she was now on top of the smaller woman. Slowly lovingly they were kissing and removing each other's clothes till two naked bodies were caressing and tasting each other's sweetness. Roxie was working her way to Candy's apex when she felt her small ones fingers caressing her breasts causing her to almost forget what she was doing.

        When they fell over the edge at the same time and they screamed each other's names Jimmy was leaning against his head board smiling whispering, “Give her a flourish for me Sis.”

        
Part 5

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